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"Hey I'm New!"Written By: Dùlin
Archive: This arc is archived on this site with permission. Do not reproduce it anywhere without permission. Disclaimer : Someone told me I didn't own them. I'm still reeling from the news. And I still have no money if you want to sue. Hey, if I did own them, I'd probably be too busy to experiment some PWP scenarios to have time to even think of writing this ! Rating : Probably PG-13 in the beginning, but PG-15 is safer for the rest because of language and other stuff Warnings : AU, high school fluffy fluff -->
teenagers discussing love, sex and relationships. Shounen ai and het
romance and sap. Bit of OOC-ness of the 'I am normal' kind. Mild Relena-bashing
(it won’t last for he whole story, since I found out I am unable
to be mean to that girl for extended periods of time) Intended for fun and relaxation, although I'm not sure I'll be able to keep it completely angst-free. Angst just seems to creep up everywhere I go. In fact, it's not me, It's Kawaii Lil' Lia who says it, teenagers angst away about anything, so ... *sighs* Pairings : Main 2+1 and 4+3+4, 5+M. Unreciprocated R+1 and H+2. 6+9, Solo + Cathy, Odin + Sally Dedicated to 'the stalker' (she knows who she is).
"Hey I'm New!"
Part 3 Heero was waiting in front of the History classroom for Duo to arrive. He had firmly decided to apologize to the braided boy first thing in the morning. Wufei, Trowa and Quatre had left him to wait here and were already seated and engaged in conversation. Which had the result of leaving Heero alone with his thoughts. And in spite of the fact that Heero spent a lot of time alone, there was one thing he didn’t like, and that was thinking about himself. Or about other people. He was angry with himself. And he didn’t know why. Wait, that was not true. He knew perfectly well why and he was not happy about himself. And the thing that really bugged him was a certain classmate with a braid and purple eyes. He had been mean to Duo without any reason. After all, the braided boy and his friends had been nice to him and Wufei, had helped them settle in the school routine. True, Duo was a bit too gregarious for Heero’s liking, but from what the Japanese boy had gathered, he was actually trying not to be all over them and to give them enough space. Not that he was really succeeding, in Heero’s opinion, but he was trying. And Heero had told Duo to bugger off when he had come to his help. That was what seriously nagged him. First that Duo had stopped to help, when it was obvious he could take neither Alex nor Mueller on his own. Heero was quite confident he could have taken them both and come out of it unscathed. But Duo had had to throw himself between Heero and the two thugs for no obvious reason. Heero could not understand why anyone would do that for somebody they didn’t even know. That had not only been useless, but stupid, since Duo had gotten hurt in the process. That had been incredibly selfless of him. Duo had risked getting hurt and beaten to defend him, and the only thing Heero had done to thank him was insulting him. Wufei had been right when he said Heero deserved the slap in the face. The mark had disappeared, but Heero could still feel the burn of the blow, as if Duo’s hand had left an imprint deep in his skin. ‘Why did he have to do that ? He doesn’t even know me !’ ‘That’s what friends do, ne ? They watch out for each other’, some wicked little voice said. ‘But he can’t be my friend ! I only met him three days ago ! that’s not enough to become friends.’ ‘Maybe not for you, no.’ ‘What’s that supposed to mean ?!’ Heero shook his head. Great, now he was arguing with himself. He was seriously disturbed. He scanned the area around and discovered his target, uh, Duo, coming towards the classroom, backpack carelessly flung over a shoulder and shooting joyful hellos to people passing by. Hilde was following him closely, smiling. Her smile faltered a bit when she noticed Heero striding purposefully to Duo. The braided boy almost bumped into Heero as he came to a sudden halt right in front of him. The piercing Prussian blue eyes looked directly in the violet ones. There was a short silence as the boys just gazed at each other, the bustle of the school becoming nothing more than a background noise. “Yeah ?”, Duo said defiantly. “You want somethin’ ?” And then, Duo felt his jaw drop painfully to the floor as Heero bowed to him, dropping into a subdued posture and lowering his gaze to the floor. “I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I had no right to talk like that to you. You came to my aid when you didn’t have to, and I should have thanked you for it, and instead I was rude to you. I am deeply sorry for it, and I hope you will forgive me for being ungrateful and mean.” Duo gaped for a moment, as did Hilde behind him. He shifted from one foot to the other a bit embarrassed. Sure, he waited for an apology, but a public apology, which had to be about the most humiliating thing Heero had ever done … Duo had talked a bit with Wufei, and he knew that this meant a lot. “Uh, sure, whatever, it’s okay”, Duo finally gulped. “Don’t sweat it.” Heero straightened, but kept his eyes on the ground. “Thank you.” “It’s nothing”, Duo shrugged, and winced when the action caused him to move his still stiff shoulder. Heero frowned when he saw that, then resolutely took Duo’s backpack. “Hey !”, Duo protested. “What …” “Your shoulder”, Heero explained. “Let me carry that for you.” And he went into the classroom. Duo watched him go with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing. Then he looked around and realized that everyone in the corridor, including Hilde, Relena, Dorothy and Meiran, was looking at him. “Whatcha lookin’ at ?”, he snapped, before following Heero inside of the classroom. He completely missed the glare Relena shot him.
This had led to a hushed conference with Quatre. The two boys had spent the period quietly whispering to each other, earning reproving glances from some of their classmates, and quizzical looks from both Trowa and Wufei, who were too far to catch anything. Heero had appeared blissfully oblivious to the conversation carried behind his back. Quatre had started by giving the thumbs up to Duo for the first-class apology he had gotten before whispering ‘I told you so’. But as Heero retreated into his ordinary agreeable self, Duo had shared his insecurities with his best friend, enumerating all the what ifs and conjectures he had about the new boy. The blonde had listened attentively, pointing out a few good points, and finishing with a ‘We’ll see Saturday night at my house, it’s gonna be fine’. Then, at the end of the period, Heero and Wufei had both left together, the Chinese just nodding to his new friend before jogging after Heero.
“What exactly do you think you’re doing, Maxwell ?”, she snapped. “Uh ?”, Duo replied intelligently. “What was that thing with Heero ? What did you do to him ?” “Now just wait a minute ! First I didn’t do anything to Heero, and next, that’s none of your fuckin’ business what happens between us !” “Us ? I’m gonna tell you one thing, Maxwell, and I’m not gonna tell it twice. You keep your ugly paws away from my Heero !” “I think you lost me somewhere”, Duo sneered. “When exactly did he become your Heero ?” Relena reddened with anger. “You just mark my words, you little piece of filth ! You stay away from him, or …” “Or what ? You’re gonna run me over with your pink limousine ?” “…” “Yeah, that’s what I thought too, now you listen !” Duo smiled very coldly, and suddenly the girl recoiled a bit. “First, Heero is a human being and he doesn’t belong to anybody ! Not me, not you, nor anyone else ! Second, your Heero has never even talked to you once, he doesn’t even say hello to you in the morning ! Third, you want him, you’re gonna have to fight for him !” “Heero is not gay !”, Relena shrieked. Duo shrugged, unfazed. “To be quite honest with you, I dunno. My gaydar’s not that accurate lately, I could’ve sworn Wu was gay and it turns out he’s not. And I honestly wonder if Heero even knows what the word ‘sex’ is supposed to mean.” “How … what …”, Relena sputtered, reddening again, but with embarrassment this time. “Relena, it’s not a contest”, Duo said, suddenly serious again. The girl fell silent, eyeing her classmate with defiance. “I don’t know if he’s gay or not. I don’t even know if he likes me, or you, or anyone else for that matters, he’s not that forward with his emotions, y’know ? All I know is that I like him a lot, and I’ll do my best to have him, but if he doesn’t want me, or if it turns out he’ll be happy with you or with someone else, I’m not gonna get in the way.” Relena sighed with relief. That didn’t last. Duo smiled again, a bit viciously. “But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go down without a fight. You want him ? Fine ! Just know that wherever you go, I’ll be there too. But don’t forget that in the end, he’s the one who gets to choose, Rel ! Not you, not me ! Him.” And the braided boy walked away, flinging his back pack on his shoulder and whistling a rock tune. “It’s not over, Maxwell !”, Relena yelled to him. “I’m warning you, it’s not over yet ! You can’t win against me !” Duo just shrugged and disappeared. And once again, Relena’s thoughts were disturbed by Dorothy’s little laugh behind her. “You were here ?”, Relena asked in a fearful voice, turning to face her so-called best friend. “Oooh, yeah, I was here !”, Dorothy said gleefully. “What did you hear ?” “Enough. You should give up, Relena.” “Never ! Heero is mine ! He just doesn’t know it yet !” Dorothy rolled her eyes and sighed. “You didn’t listen to a word of what Duo said, did you ?” “So what ? Like he could say anything of value anyway …” “Are you really that stupid naturally, or are you taking classes, Relena ?”, Dorothy said impatiently. “What ?” “There is nothing more dangerous than underestimating your enemy, Relena. And nothing more dangerous than alienating your target’s friends.” “What do you mean ?”, Relena asked, unsure of herself suddenly. Dorothy often had that effect on her. The girl was destabilizing, somehow always pointing the flaw in Relena’s logic. If she was in a good mood, she put her ‘friend’ back on track, if not, she watched her struggle with obvious delight. If Relena was the Queen of the school (this only due to the fact that her father was an ambassador and had money), Dorothy was assuredly the Queen of gossip, and she used her knowledge to her own advantage only. And right now, Dorothy wasn’t sure yet of what would amuse her the most : helping Relena to get Yuy, or watching her compete with Duo from afar. Option B definitely had possibilities, but there was no use to make it easy for Duo either, the tall blonde pointed to herself. “What I mean, Relena, is that Duo can be far more dangerous than you think he is. He is very handsome, and he knows it and knows how to play with it. You have to find your own way to charm Heero. And maybe getting a bit closer to Winner and Barton …” “But I hate them !”, Relena protested. “That’s not the point. You have to play your cards well, Relena. Winner is Duo’s best friend, so of course he’s going to work for him. Maybe you should try talking to Trowa. Oh, maybe getting to know that guy Wufei could help too.” “Yes, that’s an idea”, Relena admitted. “Do you think I could ask Meiran to introduce me to him ?” “Relena …”, Dorothy sighed. “Were you in the same school as I those last few days ?! Because if you’d been, you’d know that putting Wufei and Meiran in the same room is not …, well …” “What ?” “Oh, never mind, do as you wish ! I wonder why I even bother !” And Dorothy left, leaving behind a very confused Relena who was trying to elaborate the beginning of her Grand Scheme To Get Heero Before Duo. Relena was so absorbed in her plotting that she completely missed the calculating glance and smirk that Dorothy threw in her direction. ‘Well done’, the tall blonde complimented herself. ‘I don’t think I’ll interfere more. They both have their weapons ready. Let’s see what’s gonna get out of it.’ Dorothy considered Relena from afar for a while, then shook her head. ‘I definitely bet on Duo ! But it’s gonna be fun to see Missy Peacecraft throw a temper tantrum because she didn’t get what she wanted. I’m gonna have soooo much fun !’
First, because Wufei was becoming good friends with Trowa, Quatre and Duo, which kind of forced the sullen Heero to tag along with the rest of them unless he wanted to end up alone. No one would have bothered him, news of the fight had spread in the school and people were careful to avoid pissing him off. But Heero was slowly realizing that he did not enjoy being on his own at school. Then, there was also the fact that Duo was almost all he could think about. The braided boy was still chattering away and nearly driving Heero crazy, but the last time Heero had glared at him, Duo had just smiled apologetically and gone to find another innocent victim, Quatre. He was still over-friendly with someone he didn’t know, in Heero’s opinion, but he seemed to understand that his new classmate needed space, and he always knew exactly when to leave before he became a nuisance. And yet, he was somehow always there when that annoying Relena girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere shrieking his name and asking silly questions. The first time Duo had saved him from her, Heero had thanked him, and been rewarded by a dazzling smile that lit little sparkles in the bright violet eyes. Duo confused him. His behavior was erratic, he never seemed to be serious about anything, and yet he was easily one of the best pupils in their group, and Heero found himself working hard just to outdo him. He always seemed to understand instinctively when Heero needed to be left alone, and always turned up to be there at the right time. That’s why it was a very confused Heero who went to sit on the grass in front of the school with his best friend, on that sunny Friday afternoon. Trowa, Quatre and Duo had left, leaving them alone as if on cue. It was the end of their first week, and Heero had a feeling Quatre had arranged for them two to be a bit alone and compare impressions on their new school and new friends. They sat in silence for a while, just looking at the students coming in and out of the school. Heero’s mind was spinning with all the thinking he had done, mostly about Duo, but also about Trowa and Quatre. In all of his schools, Heero had made a point to hide his preferences, knowing they wouldn’t be accepted. But those two were practically making out in front of everybody, and while some people seemed to find it downright disgusting, no one really cared. Which made Heero’s thoughts come back to Duo and his slightly flirtatious behavior. Could it be … that Duo was trying to get him ? And if so, why ? ‘That’s stupid’, Heero growled at himself. ‘Why would he be interested in me anyway ? Especially after what I’ve done. I’ve done nothing but snap at him when he was nice since the beginning, but he keeps coming back with a smile on his face, and that look in his eyes. Why?’ Wufei’s voice interrupted his mental process, which was starting to run in circles anyway. “You like him, don’t you ?” After that rather innocent sentence, Wufei was treated to the very rare show of a Heero reddening to the root of his hair. Wufei almost chuckled at the sight. ‘My god, I can’t believe this, even his ears are red !’ “Who ?”, Heero asked in a rather hoarse voice and trying to hide his blush without any success. “Duo. You like him ?” “Why do you want to know ?” Wufei sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Come on, stop being like this. It’s not … wrong. I would even go as far and say that it would be good for you. How long has it been since you had a real date with someone nice anyway ?” “You’re one to talk, Chang”, Heeeo sneered. “Unless you want to ask Meiran out ?” “Yeah, my mom would like that, that’s for sure. But this conversation is not about me.” “K’so, Wufei, why can’t you just let it go ? It’s not like anything’s gonna happen anyway.” “Why not ? He’s gay, he’s free, and he likes you a lot.” Heero looked up, uncertainty in the blue orbs. “He does ?” Wufei was startled. He had never seen Heero looking so vulnerable. Being gay in a traditional Asian society had been hard on him. Heero had been pretty hurt by quite a lot of people. And the rules here were so different, no wonder he felt lost. “Of course he does! If you actually talked to him, you would know.” “I … thanks for reminding me my lack of social skills, you’re a true friend !” “You’re welcome. But anyway, … yes, I am quite sure he likes you, and he doesn’t really know how to act around you. You can’t imagine just how much questions he asks me about Asian culture, and what things would be considered inappropriate and so on.” “But he doesn’t even know me”, Heero protested, almost whining. “He wants to get to know you. This is quite beyond me given your charming personality, but he wants it. So why don’t you give it a try ?” “Come on, Wufei, I’ve been a jerk with him and …” “You apologized.” “Yeah, but … I mean he’s being so nice to me all the time, and I always feel like there’s a catch somewhere. That he wants something from me. I mean, who is that open with people they barely know ?” “Almost everyone on the planet but you, Yuy”, Wufei said with a little smirk. “I … I’m not sure …” “I know. I’m sorry I pushed you, this was stupid”, Wufei said suddenly. “I know maybe you’re not ready for this, but … Heero, this is not Hong-Kong, nor Tokyo. Homosexuality may be frowned upon, but it’s not a taboo here. Quatre and Trowa can go around freely. You will not be in trouble just because you ask a boy out here.” “Since when have you become so wise on the subject, Chang ?” Wufei looked up at the sky. “Since I’ve learned that the only way to live was to be happy. Are you happy, Heero ?” “I guess so.” “Then it means you’re not”, Wufei said pointedly. “If you were truly happy, you would know.” “Well, are you ?” “No. I’ve just arrived in a new country, I’ve left half of my family behind, not to mention some friends, I arrive here to find my least favorite cousin in my new school and my best friend is angsting about a crush. So no, I’m not happy.” “It’s not a crush !” “Heero, you like him. You get that look in your eyes every time you look at him …” “He confuses the hell out of me , and that’s all ! I don’t … well I … I am not …” Heero did not finish and lowered his head miserably. “I don’t know anymore, Wufei”, he whispered. Wufei put a friendly arm around his best friend’s hunched shoulders. “Listen, Heero … I am really, really sorry if I pushed too far, I just … You have an incredible chance, Heero Yuy. Duo is someone … very unlike you, that’s for sure, but he’s the most interesting person I have met in a few years apart from you. And he likes you. He really does his best not to bugger you, do you think he would do it if he did not care ? He … he just wants to be your friend, Heero, if you want nothing more. Why can’t you let him in ?” Heero looked up at his best friend and gulped. “Because … I think I am scared that if I fall for him, I will have to leave him behind like all the others. I don’t … I don’t want to be hurt again, Wufei. And … I don’t want to hurt him either, I don’t know why, but I just think … I think he deserves better than me.” Heero suddenly got up, eyes bright with unshed tears that he refused to let fall. “I am going home”, he said tersely, and he walked away as fast as he could. As soon as Heero was out of sight, Wufei hard soft footsteps behind him. Turning around, he discovered Trowa and Quatre, who were watching the spot where Heero had disappeared. “How is he ?”, Quatre asked with concern. “Not so good”, Wufei sighed. “He’s afraid.” “I figured that much”, the blonde said. “If that’s any help, I think Duo’s afraid too.” “I don’t see how that could help, Cat”, Trowa pointed dryly. “I mean, if they’re both too scared to talk to each other …” “Trowa !” “Well, that’s true.” There was a short silence. “Maybe we should really let them work it out”, Quatre finally said. “It’s none of our business after all.” “I’m gonna make you sign that on a paper, kitty. You’re not gonna play matchmaker this time?”, Trowa teased. “Trowa, I’m serious !”, Quatre pouted. “I know”, Trowa answered, kissing his boyfriend lightly. “I’m sorry.” “I can’t help thinking they’re perfect for each other”, Wufei suddenly said. “Don’t they say that opposites attract ?” “The correct say here is actually ‘Duo attracts’”, Trowa said deadpan. “Attracts what ?”, Wufei asked. “Anything that breathes and has more than three brain cells between their ears. Heero didn’t stand a chance.” “Well, I’m not sure he can accept that. I mean, he’s used to being in control and Duo …” “Yeah, I know what you mean”, Quatre said dreamily. “He’s just like a twister, isn’t he ? He tumbles into your life and nothing is the same anymore.” “Exactly!”, Wufei gaped. “I mean, it annoys me to no end that he keeps calling me strange names, but I would be disappointed if I didn’t get a ‘hi, Wu-babe’ every time I step into a classroom. And I’ve only been here for five days !” “Duo’s addictive”, Trowa agreed. “Once you’ve had a taste, you crave for more. Neither I nor Cat have actually managed to get rid of him yet. Not that we want to”, he added hastily as Quatre started to frown at him. “I think that’s what Heero is most scared of. Not being in control of himself. I mean, in our former schools, he always had to be careful not to draw attention to himself, and one of the boys he asked out actually told his parents and they almost got him expelled from the school.” “That’s awful !”, Quatre said indignantly. “I know. Heero spent the last three years keeping himself in check constantly, hiding who he really was except to Odin and myself. He can’t open up that easily. He’s been too hurt by it before.” “Well, I have a feeling Duo really could help with that”, Quatre said confidently. “Once he’s worked out his own issues, of course.” “That’s when big brothers come in handy, heh ?”, Trowa said while trying to steal another kiss. “Big brothers …. Of course, why didn’t I think of it !”, Wufei exclaimed. “I’m sure talking to Odin would be just what he needs right now.” “And Solo can sure work wonders on Duo”, Trowa added. “But how do we arrange this?” “I’ll talk to Odin”, Wufei said. “He won’t think it strange if it comes from me. Would you guys …” “I’ll put Solo on it”, Quatre answered with a bright smile. “He can never refuse anything to me anyway.” “No one can refuse you anything, kitty”, Trowa said. “You just have to smile and bat your eyelashes, and even Tsuberov would jump from the roof if you asked him to.” “Okay, let’s put Operation Big Brothers underway !”, Quatre said, ignoring Trowa’s last comment (although he was faintly blushing) and getting up. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at your house, Quatre. I’ll drag Heero there unconscious if I have to, and we’ll find a way to leave them alone, okay ?” “No problem ! See you !”
Now that he looked into it, Solo found out Quatre was right. There was something odd about Duo. The surest sign of it being that he didn’t chat about his day. In fact, he didn’t chat at all, he was just walking with his head in the air, an absent smile on his face. “Hey, cricket, wassup ?” “Uh ? What do ya mean ?” “You’re silent.” Duo looked embarrassed, flushed bit, shot a shy look to his brother and fidgeted with the end of his braid. “Just have a lot on my mind lately, what with school and all and …” “Wanna talk ?”, Solo asked not too subtly. Purple eyes narrowed as Duo eyed his big brother suspiciously. “Did Cat set you up to do this or what ?”, he finally asked defiantly. Solo laughed out loud when he saw the look on Duo’s face. “Busted ! Okay, cricket, I confess, Cat guilted me into talking to ya. Said you needed to real bad. Looks like he was right, you know your Cat, he’s always right about stuff like that. So, wanna talk ?” Duo fidgeted some more with his braid before answering. “Okay, but not here.” It took only five minutes to Solo to drag his brother to the nearest park. They settled down under a tree, Duo snuggling next to his brother in a familiar move. Solo put his arm around the frail shoulders. “You go on. I’m listening.” “It’s … it’s about Heero.” “Hmm, I figured that much. Been talkin’ to Odin lately, and he seems worried about him. I thought you two made friends, so what’s wrong ?” “Just that ! I want to be his friend, but it’s like he doesn’t want me to !” Solo looked pointedly at his younger brother. “Okay”, Duo conceded, “I want to be more than his friend, but if that’s all I can have, I’ll take it ! I mean, he’s just … he’s an alien !” “Oh. From which planet exactly ?” “Dunno, but they don’t make them sociable in that world. Come on, Wufei isn’t like him at all. Not that he speaks a lot either, but, y’know, he’s been nice to me, and Cat and Trowa. He’s not really comfortable yet, but he’s trying, see what I mean ? He’s asking questions and all. But Heero …” Duo sighed. “I really don’t know, Solo. It’s not that he’s ignoring me …” “Who could ignore a Maxwell anyway ?”, Solo cut in. “Oh, shut up ! You’re the one who wanted me to talk so stop interrupting, okay ?” “Sure. I’ll just make sure to put in wise comments. That’s what elder brothers do, uh ?” “Yeah, whatever … well, as I said, it’s not that he’s ignoring me, but it’s like … I dunno, like he’s afraid I will come too close. Some times, he just lets me chatter away like he doesn’t mind, and all of a sudden he gives me a glare that would kill the daylights out of you. You heard about the way he apologized to me in the middle of a fucking corridor, right in front of everybody ?” “I think the whole school heard about that, cricket. Even Odin was impressed, said it’s the first time he does it.” “Well, you see, it’s been like that for the rest of the week. He is nice to me, like he did back then, apologizing and carrying my bag for me ‘cause my shoulder was still hurtin’, and then, it’s a cold shower, and it’s like I’m not even there ! He’s just … confusing as heck !” There was a short silence before Solo spoke up. “Did you ever think about the fact that you might be confusing as heck too, for him I mean ?” “That’s what Cat said. He said I’m crowding him a bit too much.” “Which means you were probably all over him, Cat’s too polite for his own good some times.” “Hey, I’m trying okay ? When Cat told me that, I tried not to do it that much, y’know ? Didn’t want to be a Relena-bis or something, and, I mean it, he really doesn’t like her. Every time she shows up, he gets like a panicked look on his face and looks for the nearest exits. It’s almost funny to watch her having one-sided conversations with his back !” Duo chuckled a bit at the mental image. Solo squeezed his shoulder. “You want him, cricket ?” “I don’t know, Solo. I mean, he’s hot and mysterious alright, but I don’t really know him that much. Maybe he’s really a jerk after all, just pretending to be a bit nice to get me off his back.” “Hey, if that was it, there’s no way Wu would be his best friend. He can’t stand people like that.” “Yeah, you’re right but … Solo, how do you know you love someone ?” “You just know it, cricket. It’s not like there are symptoms. You just feel it in your bones when it’s going alright. I thought I had taught you that. Go with your guts, they can’t lie to you.” “Yes, but .. my guts and my head are sending different signals, you know ? I mean, I think he’s gay, I’m pretty sure of it, and I even think he likes me sometimes, but some other times it’s like he can’t wait to get away from me. What am I gonna do, Solo ? I don’t want to chase him away just because I was a bit too persistent.” “What if you’re not persistent enough and he ends up with someone else ?” “Well, if he’s alright with it, I guess I’ll have to go with the wind”, Duo said, not really convinced. “You don’t really mean that. You want him.” “I know. But it fucking well looks like I can’t have him.” “Yet”, Solo corrected. “What ?” “You can’t have him yet. You mind if I have a talk with Odin before you guys do anything ? You’re still meeting him at Cat’s for that study session, right ?” “Well, I’ll be there. I hope he comes too.” “Good. That’s the good settings to make him at ease. A study session just with boys his age and his best friend there, and no girls, it should be alright. But … I think he needs time, cricket. He’s only been here for a week, and this is brand new to him. I don’t really know how it was for him before, but from what Odin told me, it’s not easy to be a confident gay male be it in Japan, China or Hong-Kong.” “And I’m messing it all up flirting with him, right ? God, why don’t I listen to Cat more often?” “Only God knows, and now that I think of it, I’m not even sure of that. Anyway … leave him a bit of space. He’s probably just afraid. You’re scaring him.” “I’m trying not to”, Duo pouted. “Not hard enough, it seems.” “He’s just .. he never reacts the way a normal person is supposed to !” “Which makes it all the more fun. Now the other question is, what are you afraid of ?” Duo gaped at his big brother, blushed a bit, and began torturing his braid again. “I … Relena wants him too.” “So ?” “So, if he’s not gay, maybe he’ll go for it.” “Does not mach with everything you said earlier. You said she scared him, and he was trying to get away from her any chance he got. And that you think he’s gay.” “I don’t know that for sure, I mean, he did not seem interested in anyone at all !” “Hey, calm down, cricket. If it was anyone else you had a crush on, I’d say go for it and the consequences be damned, but … you like him a lot, don’tcha ?” “Yeah”, Duo whispered. “So, I’m tellin’ ya, don’t mess it up. Doing what Relena does, that’s messin’ it up, and that’s getting her nowhere. You don’t want to scare him more, so take it slow. Just get closer bit by bit. There’s a moment he won’t be able to push you back, Duo. Maybe he doesn’t even really want to, but he just doesn’t know it yet. He needs time and space. Give that to him.” “Yeah, I guess that’s best. It’s just … so frustrating !” “Aren’t you a bit too used to get whoever you want just like this ?”, Solo teased, snapping his fingers. “And this coming from the guy who didn’t have the guts to talk to Cat before he got ravished by some other guy !” “Yeah, well, a guy can make mistakes !” “Sure. And you’re young after all. You got time to discover what love is.” “Maybe, but I want it now. I’m tired of being alone when everyone else is dating and having fun with their girlfriends or boyfriends.” “I know, cricket. I can’t tell you it’s gonna be fine, but I damn well hope you get him, y’know? You two would look cute together.” Duo punched his brother on the arm, and got away swifter than lightning. Solo got up and ran after him, laughter echoing down the streets.
“Stop it ! You’re not a baby ! It shouldn’t even matter to you that he’s interested in you, if he really is ! After all it’s just Wufei telling, maybe it’s not even true !” Heero felt a sharp pang of regret flash trough him as he said that to himself. And that scared him. Why should he feel sad that Duo was not interested in him ? And why did he want the boy to be interested in him, and in the same time to stay away from him ? And when had his life suddenly become so complicated ? “I don’t know anymore”, he whispered to himself as the first tears escaped and rolled down his cheeks. And soon enough, Heero was crying in earnest, clutching his pillows and almost choking on his own sobs, and not even really remembering why he was crying, just that he needed the pain and the loneliness to get out, just for a while. Odin came home … and almost fell flat on his face in the entrance hall as he tripped on Heero’s backpack. Catching himself just in time, Odin frowned. “What the hell … he never lets his things in the middle of the floor like this !” Then, his gaze caught something shining on the floor. ‘His keys ! Now wait a minute, what is going on here ?’ Odin poked his head in the kitchen, and then in the living-room, looking for any sign of life in the house, and finding none, except … ‘Is that someone crying ?’, Odin wondered, puzzled. The tall teenager was careful not to make a sound as he made his way upstairs. A strange feeling of apprehension began to tighten in his guts as he reached the landing. Heero’s door was slightly ajar, and the muffled desperate sobs came from there. ‘What is going on ? Why is he crying ? I … I guess I’d better go see.’ Odin hesitated in front of the door. Heero and himself were not that close now that the younger boy was growing up, but … but this was also the first time Odin remembered his brother crying. Even last year, when he had broken his leg after falling from his bicycle, Heero had not cried. Not even when the doctor had pushed the bone back in place without analgesics to block the pain. At long last, he pushed the door, very slowly. His heart almost fell apart when he saw what was waiting for him inside. Heero was curled up on his bed, arms wrapped around his blue pillow, and crying almost desperately, sobs escaping him as though he was trying to hold them back. For a moment, Odin could do nothing but stare, completely stunned. ‘How could I not notice something was wrong ? And why don’t you talk to me anymore ? Oh, Heero, this has got to stop.’ And Odin stepped into the room, careful to make some noise to signal his presence. Wet Prussian blue eyes shot up, and Odin clearly saw a flash of panic cross his younger brother’s features, before another sob broke through. “O … Onii-san ?” Odin went to sit on the bed beside Heero and without asking any questions, gathered his brother in his arms. He felt him tense at first, but suddenly all pretense of holding on left Heero and he started crying harder, fisting his brother’s T-shirt and burying his face in the welcoming embrace. Odin did his best not to panic, although he was on the verge of it. Heero sounded so … desperate. Odin couldn’t fathom that he hadn’t noticed anything was wrong with his brother, apart from the ordinary. ‘Yeah, right, the ordinary. Something has been wrong with him for years, and I know it perfectly well, I just decided not to care because he would talk to me if something was really wrong, right ? I’m really the worst big brother ever. Still, I wonder what could have him crack up like this ?’ After what seemed an eternity, Heero finally calmed down a bit. Odin’s T-shirt was soaked with tears, and Heero didn’t let go of it, but his breathing evened out. He closed his eyes and let his head rest on his brother’s chest, his cheeks starting to burn with the humiliation of having been found crying like a baby. “Feelin’ better now ?”, Odin asked very low. “Iie”, Heero whispered back. “I …” “Shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, Heero. I should have known something was wrong, but I guess I was a bit too caught up in discovering this new school and all to really pay attention to you. It won’t happen again, I promise.” “No, it’s not your fault”, Heero protested, “I … I could’ve talked to you.” “Yes, you could have”, Odin said a bit reproachfully. “So why didn’t you ?” “I don’t know. Thought I could deal with this on my own.” Odin sighed, and held his brother tighter. “Heero, you don’t have to deal with anything on your own. You’ve got friends, you’ve got me, hell, you got loads of people who love you and want nothing else but to help you, but you’re too damn stubborn to let them do it !” Odin almost cursed at himself when Heero glared at him, but let out a sigh of relief as the teen lowered his gaze in shame. “I messed up again, didn’t I ?” “No, Heero, you didn’t, it’s just … you’re always bottling everything up. You never let people know about how you feel. We cannot always guess, Heero, if you don’t talk. But then again, I’ve been knowing something was wrong with you for a while, but I couldn’t get the courage to talk to you. I thought you would come if you needed help.” Heero looked up at his brother, looking baffled and a bit sorry. He had made Odin worry again. He did his best not to worry Odin, and yet that had been in vain. But … he needed someone to talk to right now, didn’t he ? And he didn’t want that someone to be Wufei, because Wufei was biased on the subject. “I … I just … nothing makes sense anymore.” “What doesn’t make sense ?” “Duo.” Odin raised an eyebrow, but he wasn’t really surprised. Long talks with Solo had let him knowing that the braided boy had a thing for his brother. He had welcomed it, had thought it was good for Heero to find someone as charming and outspoken as Duo, and had not thought any further. Obviously, he should have. “I saw Wu, today, Heero. He’s worried about you, you know ?” “I know, but …” “Just tell me what’s wrong okay ? I promise I’ll listen and I won’t make fun of you.” “I … he …” Heero stopped talking, looking at a loss what to say. Odin shook his head. “Let me help you there. I’ll ask questions and you answer, is that better ?” Heero nodded. “Good. So, something doesn’t add up with Duo. What is it ?” “I … he keeps coming to me like I’m his friend or something when I barely know him, or him me.” “Well, maybe he wants to be your friend”, Odin suggested, although his talks with Solo had made sure Duo wanted to be more than friend with Heero. “I don’t see why”, Heero said stubbornly. “And I don’t see why not. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and even if you don’t realize it, a lot of people want to get to know you better. Mil and Lu and Cathy and even Sally always ask questions about you. Solo, well, he just can’t stop talking about you actually. And Trowa and Quatre also want to know you better so what’s the real problem, Heero ? Tell me the truth.” Heero looked away and did not answer. “You like him, don’t you ?”, Odin pressed. “Hai.” A very low whisper, but Odin heard it nonetheless. “And he likes you.” Heero frowned when he heard the calm certitude in his brother’s voice. “I don’t know that. Everyone keeps telling me this, but …” “He likes you”, Odin cut in firmly. “I am sure of it, and I have good sources.” “But … I …” “Are you scared, Heero ?” Heero nodded miserably, looking so much like a lost six-year-old that Odin had to do something. “What are you scared of, Heero ? Tell me.” “I’m scared … I’m scared that it will turn out like … like the other times.” Silence fell. Well, of course that was what Heero was scared of, Odin thought. He remembered how disturbed his little brother had been when he had first discovered that he preferred boys. Everything in his culture, in his environment, told him that it was wrong. Odin knew for a fact that a good share of Japanese high schoolers were gay, but they were also very good at hiding it, for obvious reasons. At that time, Odin had helped Heero, telling him that love was never wrong, no matter what sex your partner is. Wufei had been helpful too at the time. At first, Heero had been reluctant to share that secret, afraid he would lose his best friend. And Wufei had been shocked for a while, but then, he had supported Heero. Wufei was straight and happy with it, but just like Odin, he didn’t see what was wrong in loving someone else, regardless of the fact that they were male or female. Unfortunately, the world around didn’t see it that way. Heero had tried dating people. The operative word in this being ‘tried’. Most of the time, it turned out the people he liked were straight, so that he hid his attraction until his parents moved out of town and he was sent to another school. But once, Heero had finally found the courage to ask someone out. The boy was gay too, Odin knew, but he was scared. Scared that if his parents and friends knew, they would turn their back on him. So he decided to put all the blame on Heero, and nearly got him expelled. That was when their parents had learnt about Heero’s sexuality. Meiko had taken it quite well, given her origins. She had looked resigned, maybe a bit disappointed, but not blatantly disapproving. Their father, just like Odin, had accepted it just like that. But then, neither of them had really paid attention. Some times, Odin thought they were sure it was just a phase and hoped Heero would grow out of it soon. “Are you scared that he will reject you, or that it works out and we have to leave soon ?” “Both”, Heero answered. “I … I don’t want to be alone anymore, onii-san, but every time it looks like I find someone, either they don’t want me, or the next day we’re off to some other country. I don’t want to hurt like that again.” “I see, but Heero … you’re hurting right now.” Heero’s eyes widened a bit. “What will hurt you more, Heero ? Going for it, or staying here eating yourself with what ifs?” “I just … if he wants me, and it all works out okay and we have to move again, I’m not sure I will stand it, onii-san. I just don’t want to feel that way again.” “Cutting out all of your feelings is not the solution, Heero”, Odin said gently, ruffling through the chocolate bangs. “Then what is ?”, Heero said angrily. “Whenever I let someone close, I get hurt, but if stay on my own, I get so damn lonely that I can’t …” “Hey hey, cool down, now ! Easy !” Heero slumped back on the bed, looking exhausted. “I don’t know what to do, onii-san.” “Well, he likes you. You like him. This looks pretty simple to me.” “Onii-san …”, Heero whined. “I know, I know. I think … I think you need a bit of time to think this over, Heero, but … whatever you decide to do, always follow your heart, little brother. The heart never lies. It can get you hurt, but it always tells the truth.” “That’s what Duo always says”, Heero said absentmindedly. “What ?” “That he doesn’t lie. He always says that like it’s the most important thing in the world.” Odin smiled. “It’s a sign. You two are destined to be together.” “But, onii-san, I won’t even know what to do, I mean, we’re so different, maybe we’ll just…” “Okay, you stop that right now, Heero. You can’t know the future. There’s just one thing you can be sure of. You make your own life. You have a choice between getting a wonderful person, or wallowing in self-misery all by yourself. Neither path are safe, and both can get you hurt, but there is one who is worth it. Now you decide.” Odin got a bit closer, and stroke his brother’s cheek lightly. “You deserve to be happy, Heero, even if only for a moment. You deserve to be happy more than anyone else I’ve ever met. I want you to be happy. Don’t let that chance pass you by. You have to take every chance you get, Heero. I don’t want you to promise me anything, I know you’re confused, and you think you don’t know Duo well enough to make a decision right now but … let him in, Heero. Take things at your pace, but let him in.” “I … I’ll try, onii-san.” “That’s all I’m asking, Heero. Now why don’t you take some rest ? You look like you could do with a nap. I’ll wake you up later so you can finish your homework and get something to eat, okay ?” “Hn.” Heero toed his sneakers away, and slid under his blankets, eyes already closing in his tear-streaked face. Odin was leaving the room when he called back. “Onii-san ?” “Yes ?” “Thank you.” “Anytime, Heero. And next time something’s bothering you, you know you can talk to me.” No answer came from the bundle of covers on the bed, so Odin just got out and closed the door quietly. ‘Well, that went better than I expected. He’s just so … intense and focused on things like that that he’s gonna think them over until his head bursts before thinking of asking for help. Then, Duo is quite a firecracker too. Poor Heero didn’t stand a chance. I just hope they’ll end up finding each other.’ His cell phone began to ring, and Odin went to his bedroom quickly, to make sure he didn’t wake Heero up. “Hello ?” “Odin, man, Solo here ! You got a moment ?” “Is this about Heero and Duo ?” “Yeah. How did ya know ?” “Wufei cornered me this afternoon and told me I had to go talk to Heero. Looks like he was right.” “Cat did the same to me and he was right too. So, what’s the status ?” “A bit confused, but there’s still hope. I think we need to talk. I don’t want them to mess this up. They would be perfect together, they just need … a bit of balance. And to get to know each other better.” “Agreed. So what’s the plan ?” ~ * ~ |
